So I added a Pulse and I am making an Audio weblog too.
I've always thought that music could express my feelings better than words.

Anyways...I have been feeling horrible the last couple days and I was laying down all day today =[
Ella is growing sooooo fast =] She gets more beautiful each day.

Some people may think that because I am a teen mom I am not a good parent or I am not raising my daughter in the best environment. Those people to me are utterly ignorant. I feel that I am a great mom, Ella will always have everything she needs. And my home is wonderful, I still live with my parents and there is never any fighting or anything like that.

Fact is, I love my daughter and anyone who thinks otherwise because I am sixteen can pretty much suck it.




She fell asleep on me. We were so tired.



She is my life. I could not live without her!

I went to visit Ella's dad, Nick on Friday the 6th.
It was the hardest visit we've ever had.
He got very upset with everyone...didn't want to talk to anyone and left the room. Of course I followed him to the hall. He told me to leave him alone and to not talk to him. I'm stubborn like him so I kept trying to reason with him, kept trying to get him to talk to me. He wouldn't.
I walked down the hall a couple steps and collapsed crying my eyes out. I have never cried that hard in my life. After everything we'd been through...we came too far for him to push me away now. I looked up and he was in tears. In the six years we had known eachother I have NEVER seen him cry but once.
I went over to him...told him I wasn't leaving ever. I was going to be right there whether he liked it or not. He was crying so hard. I couldn't stop crying because of the mere site of him. He was in a fight the day before so he had a black eye, his other eyes was bruised and his lip was a little purple so it was 10 times harder to see him crying like that.
I got him calmed down [he wasn't mad just upset now]. We were leaving so I asked him if he wanted to tell Ella bye...he nodded yes.
I brought her over and he held her and he was crying and so was she and so was I. He stood up and walked to the front door with us. I hugged him and told him I loved him and I would see him Sunday. When they took him back he started crying again and I was soooo hard to see him walk away with the staff like that. I cried the whole way home in the car with his mom and grandfather and Ella.
I can't get the look in his eyes out of my mind. I can't sleep...I want to see him...hold him in my arms. I think I always knew that I loved him but, at that moment I realized...despite all he's been through and all he's done...I want to spend the rest of my life with that man.

Love is love....age is a number....and one day, maybe not tomorrow or next year or even five years...

I'm going to marry him.




He's a wonderful father.


Christmas Eve 07. Best night...we has so much fun.


His kisses are the best in the world.


He loved her before he met her.